If I said yes...

I want a boy...

2007-05-14T15:10:00.000-06:00

who can wrestle with me & let me win.
who I can talk to about anything.
who laughs at my jokes.
a boy who puts my cold hands in his warm hoody pockets.
who lets me use his sweatshirt for a pillow.
who says i love you & means it
who will kiss me in the rain, in the sunshine, and in the snow
who calls unexpectedly at random times
who will have many inside jokes with me & remember each one
a boy who n o t i c e s when I'm sad
who realizes that girls say things but don't mean them.
who shows up at my games, slipping in the door
who I can go swimming with on hot days
who can tell me his problems & let me help
who will listen to me talk about fun times with my friends
who will let me vent to him when I get angry
who writes love letters to me but doesn't send them to me
who saves his genuine, big smiles for me.
a boy with deep eyes that can see through faces into depths
who wears baseball hats & lets me wear his too
who gives me his t-shirt to change into
who knows my favorite color, and song
a boy who will shake my daddy's hand & look my mother in the eye
who will call me by my full name, first, middle, & last.
a boy who will kiss me
and tell me I'm pretty and mean it
who will let me cry to him
who will squeeze my hips just right from behind
who plays with my hair
who knows when I have a math test
or when I fail one.
a boy who smells like he just stepped out of the shower
a boy who doesn't mind how weird I am
who likes spending time with me even if it's just watching a movie
who tells me I have a nice laugh and a smile that lights up the room and simply be mine to hold

is that too much to ask for??
maybe, but I can dream forever.

here's looking at you kid,

Shelby

I've been told to update...

2007-04-17T15:13:00.000-06:00

well... here I am...

It's been a while...
but things have been better since I last wrote...

I'm over the boy.
3 years is too long...
and i'm done.
he didn't like me, and never will.
I just needed to realize it.

disney was pretty fun...
besides the 5 hour choir performance..
and the rain on that friday...

I can not, I repeat can NOT wait for the summer.
of course i'm going to miss the friends that I don't hang out with outside of school,
but I'll get to see the ones that go to ohs a lot more.

and the closer that summer is...
the closer cornerstone is...
and missouri...
and michigan...
and camping...

well... I should probably finish write my spanish paper on Cencienta (Cinderella)
I hope that all of your lives are going well.

here's looking at you kids,

Shelby

I'd love to come back with a happy blog, but...that's not going to happen.

2007-03-04T16:13:00.000-06:00

everything was going good, he was finally noticing me,
but then she came along and told him that she liked him.

and what does he do?
he jumps right up and asks her out.

I'm happy for the both of them,
but I was thinking that maybe, just maybe I had a chance this time.

I guess not.
I think it's time for me to move on...
time for me to like someone else.
It sounds a whole lot easier than it is...
I've tried to stop my self from liking him,
but it's not working.
oh well.

all I need is time.
and maybe I'll find someone better.

on a happier note,
Melissa got what she wanted =]
and I couldn't be any happier for her!
she deserves him!

well, I'm off to finish my homework,
and start on my piano "lessons" for the day.
teaching myself is actually working!

here's looking at you kid,

Shelby

it's the most wonderful time of the year?

2006-12-25T15:03:00.000-06:00

oh my.

last night when we were at my step- brother's dad's house,
we got a call from my brother,
and he told us that he needed my dad to get the insurance card and meet him at farnswsorth and indian, because he got in an accident.

i didn't think that it was as bad as it was, but the boy sure is lucky to be alive.

his dream car got totaled.

what a merry christmas it is for him.

i feel even worse, because more than half of the gifts he got were things for his car.

ugh!

well, i hope that you all have a
merry christmas!

in hope for better days...
Shelby

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

2006-12-23T16:43:00.000-06:00

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

not to questions the big man or anything, but if love is kind, then why does it hurt us so much?
if it never fails, then why are people getting so many divorces?

i've been reading from Corinthians a lot, and this is what has stuck to me.

what's our world turning into?
people getting married, just because of physical attraction.
it's a bit ridiculous.

but changing the subject,
Christmas is in two days, and i'm a tad overwhelmed because my family is not as close as it used to be.
they're all depending on me to call my grandpa and my brother to invite them over on Christmas day.

ugh!
off to make those phone calls.

here's lookin at you,
shelby

I'm just going to keep quiet from now on...

2006-11-30T22:39:00.000-06:00

today was fun.
there wasn't any drama, and I didn't have any homework again!

I actually did a lot of thinking today.
and, I've decided that I need to be more quiet from now on.

A lot of people say that I don't talk enough,
but I think that I talk way too much.
and, half of the things that I say are mean or just plain stupid.

Youth Group tonight was better than it has ever been.
we talked about eating disorders.
not regular eating disorders, but spiritual eating disorders.

It helped me realize that I need to spend more time reading my bible and praying.
I don't devote enough of my time to the Lord.

we talked about the four different steps, or kinds of spiritual eating disorders.
here they are...

milk: where you thrive off of what you were taught when you were little and don't think that you need to know anymore, because you're saved and are already going to heaven.

exercise anorexia: where you go to church, but you don't pay enough attention, and spend a lot of time helping the church, but not going to the sermons and learning from them.

anorexia: where you go to church, you go to the sermons, but you pay little attention, because you think that you don't have to because you're already going to heaven.

bulimia: where you basically go to church, but pay little attention, and you push aside your devotional time, and don't read the bible, or pray much.

I think that the lesson had a big effect on me, because I realize that I do go to church at least 2 times a week, but I don't spend any time worshiping God outside of that.

well, I have to go to bed.
School tomorrow.
God Bless,

Shelby

air fares went up friday...

2006-11-27T17:19:00.000-06:00

round trip to paris was a real good deal.
cheap...tempting and now...unavailable.
sounds like someone else I know.

today was okay.
it wasn't exactly good, or bad...

I've come to realize that no matter how much I like a person, that i'll never find the guts to tell them.
I had the chance to tell him twice today.
Two perfect moments...
But, something is stopping me.
I'm not exactly sure what it is, but I know that it's definitely there.
Maybe it's the fear of losing him as a friend...
or the fear of rejection...
or just the fact that he's older than me.
or maybe it's all 3.

I just don't know anymore.

tomorrow's always another day, I guess.

-Shelby